How to ‘Unhook’ Yourself from Overwhelm

Last Thursday I ran the webinar "Better in Chaos: Leading through uncertain times" for the PCO Association members. When polling the group attending, I asked how they might describe their emotions today:

• Fatigued

• Fuelled (preferably energised from positive sources other than alcohol!)

• Fluctuating (up and down daily)

• Frozen (not sure which way to go - I feel stuck)

• Other

More than 70% on the webinar described feelings that were fluctuating that day.  Emotion is an essential part of leadership, especially leading yourself first when in overwhelm and chaos.  Yet most of us don’t stop and take stock of exactly how we are feeling, or what ‘stories’ we might be making up in our own minds. 

Next time you feel your inside voice running away from you, and barrelling along like a hamster on a wheel, then this small self-coaching activity I call 'The Truth Triangle' may help to quell the threat response in your brain. 

1. Draw three columns on your page with the headers Feeling, Facts, Fiction

2. Take a moment to RECOGNISE:

• How are you FEELING? - label the emotion and be descriptive – happy / sad won’t cut it!

• What are the FACTS?

• What may be FICTION or the stories being made up in your own mind,  as a result of our tendency to try to predict, interpret or make meaning from conversations and events?

When in uncertainty, our brain loves to create it's own 'certainty' through assumptions, meaning and interpretations. It's completely natural so we feel a sense of being in control.  

What is important though, is to get CURIOUS about the distinction of feelings, fact and fiction.  To untangle thoughts and self-created stories that might limit you being your best in the chaos, and instead use them as the guide to asking better questions.

The distinction of Feelings, Facts and Fiction is essential to navigating uncertainty. Without this distinction, you may be caught up in illusion and inflammation that isn’t serving you or the people you lead. Curiosity will lead to insight and a more productive (and possibly peaceful!) way forward.